Is that a threat or a promise?

threat (noun) a statement of an intention to inflict pain, injury, damage, or other hostile action on someone in retribution for something done or not done.

My first threat came from 8 year old David, an ardent admirer at primary school.  He threatened to kiss me in front of the boys while I was escaping his advances in the playground.  The next time I was threatened I was 14 and at secondary school.  This threat was not so benign and involved cigarettes behind bicycle sheds.

My most memorable workplace threat was from an erstwhile colleague - an unhappy pale-faced man who resented having to work with a woman.  His threats were overtly verbal and thinly veiled.  Sadly he never put anything in writing as he knew exactly how far to push it.

My next experience of being threatened came from a unexpected source.  My Mother did not want me to go through with a house purchase in an area that she considered beneath me.  Her way of dealing with this was to call, at a late hour of the night while my child was sleeping.  "I will never speak to you again if you go through with this" was delivered in the kind of chilled tones that remind you of a mafia movie.  I bought the house and she is still not speaking to me but this time over some other more imagined slight.

At work I have been threatened with demotion once and the sack twice.  I was working for a particularly insecure manager the first time and the threats were issued behind closed doors.  I gently laughed it off and told no one but I was deeply worried by this.  I was a single working mother with nothing to fall back on. Happily nothing came of it but I could not escape this manager.  Deliverance had to wait for his retirement. The second time I was threatened with the firing squad came from a more senior source.  The person issuing the threat was a newly appointed interim director of human resources.  I could barely understand what she was saying as I was too busy trying to put my mobile on record. The person on the other side of the desk wearing a Paul Smith suit and a fascistic grin was telling me to get ready to clear my desk.  On autopilot I asked her to put it in writing so that I could inform my solicitors of the grounds of my prospective dismissal.  Again nothing came of it and I never learned what my crime was. 

Threats have all one thing in common: a wish to exert power and control over the person.  The most effective threats are psychological in nature and come from those who perceive themselves to be powerful.  In fact threats are made by the desperate and the desperately needy.  Threats are part of the bully's arsenal.   I hope you do not receive any threats today, this week, this year or ever.